it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
