please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
