My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
