I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
