Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
