the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
