i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
