I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
