whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
