Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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