I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
