Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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