so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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