i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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