Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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