i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
vagina is talking i cant
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
