Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
