are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
