goodnight i made you a song goodbye
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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