she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
How naked do you want me to be?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
