I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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