It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
