I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
two words: eviction party
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
