Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
