Whod you bang
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
