hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
