did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
