Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
