dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
