Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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