I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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