I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
