Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
