he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
