i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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