There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize