if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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