Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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