My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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