I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
