Your tits are I can't wait for
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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