In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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