she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
