is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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