where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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