I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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