had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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