Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
