so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
