Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
