I must be too annoying 4 u.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
